How to Journal Effectively: 6 Perspectives to Get the Most Out of Self-Reflection
A common question that comes from the fellas in my office is “How do I journal?” Now, truth be told, I have a hard time answering this question. The most effective tool I have in continuing my journey to emotional health is journaling. And at this point, journaling is kinda second nature to me. But because I get asked this question so much, I spent some time thinking about the themes of my journaling. Below are the results. I suggest you try a few of these on to see if any of them fit you.
The Basics of Journaling
Our mental approach to journaling is important. Here are some hints, in no particular order.
Don’t go get the Franciscan-monk-hand-made-paper bound in Italian leather journal. You’ll sit down and immediately question if your thoughts are worthy of such a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. Go to Walmart and get yourself a 17¢ spiral-bound notebook. This will help with writer’s block.
Do not use a computer. Writing longhand will slow you down. The slower you go, the closer you are to emotions. Additionally, many of us spend a lot of time in front of our computers. Writing your journal will feel more like your job than quality intrapersonal work.
This is not an exercise in capturing data. We’re not looking to list what you did. We’re looking toward emotions. We’re looking for patterns. We’re looking at why’s.
Life is not ideal. Sure, we’d all love to wake early to a cup of coffee and the sunrise, and 1.5 hours of silence and solitude. That ain’t reality. Make an intentional effort to have a set time to journal, and then adapt to life.
Types of Journaling
As I’ve thought about my process of journaling, here are six of the primary themes or styles of journaling I engage in: historical, explorational, preparation, crisis, gratitude, prayer, and truth.
Historical Journaling looks at the past. It asks four primary questions:
1) What actually happened to me?
2) How did I respond to it?
3) How am I responding in some of the same ways now?
4) What do I need to do so that my past doesn’t continue to unduly influence my present and future?
An example might be the time my best friend from 1st thru 5th grade up and told me to my face he didn’t want to be friends anymore. Ugh. In journaling through this event, I see a pattern of going quiet when I am emotionally hurt. I see the hesitancies I presently have in trusting that others won’t abandon me. And I have to intentionally choose to be vulnerable in relationships so that old wound does not continue to influence the quality of my relationships.
Explorational Journaling takes a specific event in the present and asks the question “Why did I react like that?” Explorational journaling is not judgmental, but curious. Let’s say you cut someone off in traffic and give them the bird when commuting home from work. Rather than ignoring it or blaming them, you question what happened that you’d act in this uncharacteristic manner. Usually, there are other pressing and perhaps unresolved emotions that go into such an overreaction. What are they and what do you need to do to resolve them?
Preparation Journaling looks to the future and anticipates triggers and needs. It works through and plans ahead for events so they do not take you off guard. It asks, “How do I show up as my best self?” and “What does it mean for me to live in integrity at this moment?” So, rather than watching football all Thanksgiving day, you determine that you need to engage your in-laws, your kids, your wife. You make a plan for what that engagement looks like (step 1: turn off football, step 2: talk to family).
Crisis Journaling occurs when you need to get it all out right now. This is generally my rawest form of journaling and can last for pages and pages. It usually happens when life is coming at me very fast and I have not taken the time I need to keep up with it. This journaling starts with “What happened?” and ends with “What do I need to do now?”
Gratitude Journaling. A client of mine recently put it well: “When you practice gratitude, it’s difficult to engage in self-pity.” Gratitude has a way of opening us up. It enables us to focus on all of the good things we have in life; to, sing it with me, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. If we are constantly thinking negative thoughts, we condition our minds to be in the place. If we practice gratitude, we condition our minds to go there instead.
Prayer Journaling. Sometimes journals are directed straight to God. It just feels different. Rather than rattling off the things in my mind in prayer, I write them down. In doing so, it feels less routine and more connected to God.
Truth Journaling identifies faulty ways of thinking and subjects them to truth. This is a re-centering, re-grounding form of journaling. A pastor friend of mine gave me 4 Questions to work through:
What is going on? (What is happening in life?)
What am I feeling? (What are my emotions?)
What do I believe about myself? (What are the shame messages I experience?)
What is truth/what does God say about me? (What should I believe instead of the shame?)
These are a sketch of my common forms of journaling. I encourage you to try them on and see if any work for you. And if they don’t, then adapt them and find your own groove so that you are able to do the deeper work of living your fullest life.
